I’m going to go off script here and talk about the other half of the species. Lets put on our virtual pair of Spanx and padded bra and take a peak at what it’s like as a single WOMAN today.
IT AIN’T ALL ABOUT SEX
Let’s get one thing out of the way. Yes, single women get sex much easier than men. A woman can quite literally open her front door, pull her skirt up and say “Alright… you guys have 30 minutes. Who wants to fuck?!”, and SOME dude will come running. I don’t care how bad she looks, some guy out there will be desperate enough to bang her (and unfortunately this gives lower value women an inflated sense of worth in the dating scene…. like the 400 lb woman on Tinder saying “swipe left if you’re under 6′ 3″ tall”). There is never a shortage of desperate dudes.
It doesn’t take much effort for a woman to get laid.
- Install Tinder
- Swipe Right
- Get Sex
For dude… it’s a delicate souffle recipe of an effort. You have to get things juuuuuuust right, and even then it can all collapse on you in the last second and you’re back on Pornhub.
The successful player/lover is a guy who has the exact right sexual recipe… and all of us want to know what the ingredients are. He may be slow of wit and about as interesting as a box of dead puppies, but he has achieved a level of sexual conquest that most men dream of. That makes him a sexual winner in the eyes society. He gets the women. He could be sitting at the bar next to the smartest Nobel Prize winning academic in the world… and Mr. Smarty Pants would sit back in awe and watch as Mr. Playboy makes out with 10 different bimbo types throughout the night. He would then approach Mr. Playboy, buy him drink and say “How do you DO that??”
The “slut”, for lack of a better term, is a gal who opened the door, flashed her cookie and said “Next!” Nothing wrong with that… but nothing women will line up to learn how to do. It’s a one ingredient recipe: “Want sex? Ask for it.”
Sex is always there for her. That’s a given. But, if she’s a mentally healthy woman, she’s going to want more than to jump from penis to penis over the next 10 years. For her, sex is not the end game.
That is where things get tough.
We, as men, look at the female’s instant access to sex and think “Women have it easy.” They can reach the end game so much easier! We’re thinking like dudes (with our dicks). We are programmed to bang a bunch of hot women and spread our abundant seed wherever we go. Women aren’t. They’re programmed to find the best all around dude so she can hand over her precious eggs to him and hope for the best.
INTERESTING FACTOID: As the book “Is There Anything Good About Men” points out, DNA evidence shows us that throughout history, 80% of the female population successfully reproduced. How about the men? Only 40%. Two to one difference. Only a select few men were able to conquer the temple of hoohah and spread their seed. Again… high valued men. The top of the pyramid.
(Yes this is going to be one of those annoying evolutionary psychology kind of posts. Deal with it.)
The thing is… it’s really tough for a woman to find the all around GOOD dude. She wants a guy that has a good combination of those lover/provider qualities she wants so badly. Sure, she has the sweet siren of the “Just go out and have fun. You’re single, girlfriend!” lifestyle calling, but she doesn’t want to be the living sex doll for some creep, or one of 39 women for some playboy, or the pedestal princess to some dork of a beta/provider.
She wants the combo of good qualities. She wants the super interesting player with the strong arms, big brain and a heart of gold. She wants James Bond, god dammit.
“WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN?”
After divorce a woman is mostly left with a lot of also-divorced guys in her dating pool. These guys are usually one of two personality types:
The super playboy wannabe “I’ve been tied down before and prefer to stay unattached and fuck a new woman every week, thank you very much” type of guy.
… or the “I know we just met but here are some flowers and I let me introduce you to my kids right away and say hi to my mom and let me pay for everything and I love you please don’t leave me” needy provider types.
This is precisely what single women mean when they say “WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN!?” Yes, I realize this is serious anger food for all you nerds with a bad masturbation habit. I can hear you now…
“We’ve ALWAYS been here! You won’t give us a chance! You women just go for the BAD boys!! It’s your fault that you’re so miserable! Serves you right!”
No, dipshit… you’re not the GOOD dude she’s looking for, either. She wants an all around dude with both lover and provider qualities. That’s ain’t you. You’re far too needy. Go clean your fedora.
As we know, women have lots and lots of NEEDS and it’s tough to meet them all. It’s especially tough with a woman who has been in a long-term relationship with another man and has kids to go with it. Almost impossible.
The poor single mom has her work cut out for her trying to find a GOOD dude who can check a lot of boxes she is accustomed to being checked AND will be willing to help care for another man’s offspring. This is why most women end up settling for that guy they GUESS will be good enough (needy dork provider guy).
We all now how that turns out (Hint: 70% of divorces are initiated by women).
Or they stick with the party scene and bounce from bad boy to bad boy hoping that ONE of them has a heart of gold. This is that embarrassingly drunk older woman at the bar with the way-too-skimpy dress grinding her crotch on every guy within five feet of her. She’s advertising that she’s an easy lay and repeatedly wonders why she can’t find her James Bond. We have all seen that woman.
TIME IS NOT ON THEIR SIDE
Men cannot appreciate the biological clock that a woman is up against. We have no equivalent. With the right amount of time in the gym, the right attitude and the right paycheck… we can score hot women well into our later years. I’m not saying we can have deep, meaningful long-term relationships very easily, but we can have fun and get our sexual/romantic needs met and live a good life that is fulfilling.
For a lot of women, that just ain’t the case.
Forget all your “Cougar” and “MILF” talk. In the woman’s world there is nothing more powerful than youth.
The world is the pretty young lady’s oyster. Society will absolutely bend over backwards to accommodate her. For most women, her best and most attractive years occur in her teens and early 20’s. How do we define “most attractive”? Isn’t that subjective? Well, let’s take a look at the data.
What better place to mine for data than the anonymous confines of the internet. There we can see what men search for on dating sites, porn sites and the like. We get to see what they look for when nobody is watching.
To put put it in evo-psych terms, men look primarily for women of good fertile status. Our programming is set to look for a certain list of qualities in a potential mate. Good hip to waist ratio. Good skin. Good hair. Softer, more delicate features. Those qualities are far more common in young women.
To quote the book “A Billion Wicked Thoughts”:
A woman’s body accumulates its maximum percentage of gynoid fat during adolescence. This accounts for teenage girls’ shapely bodies. Since these estrogen-fueled, gynoid fat-based ornaments are the best indicators of a woman’s long-term reproductive value, youthful forms of these ornaments evolved to become the most potent visual cues for men.
That’s nerd-speak for “Young chicks are hot. We can’t help it. Sorry.”
To further illustrate, here’s a graph showing what men type in during their late night feverish porn searches (only age-related terms shown):
See the pattern?
Now you know why plastic surgery and makeup are multi-billion dollar industries. Women are well aware of how society puts youth above all else. They’re hanging on to what’s left of their younger self at all costs.
If she’s lucky enough to be a pretty young girl, she is turning heads left and right. Cat calls. Guys making obscene remarks. Men coming on to her at the office. Men falling over themselves asking for dates.
Then they marry.
They spit out some kids.
They slave away at their job.
They spend years chasing around kids, cleaning up messes, driving to soccer games, baking pies for the bake sale…
Before they know it they’re in their late 30’s. How the hell did that happen?!
The cat calls stop. Nobody is approaching them at the bar during girls’ night out. Everything about her from her sensible hair, belly pooch and comfy shoes screams MOM. At times she misses the young her and all that came with that life. She would kill for a cat call again.
But, she has her husband and kids and possibly a career to give her the validation and meaning she needs. It’s not all about the shallow things. There’s more to life than sex and all that goes with it. It’s about friends. The family unit. Her community.
God help her if she divorces.
After divorce the stark reality hits her… HARD.
What are universally deemed meaningful and valued personal qualities have next to no value in the shallow and cruel world of the sexual marketplace.
“I have a PhD” is the female version of “I’m really good at golf.”
She wants a good dude. She wants comfort. Companionship. Unfortunately the group of guys she is most attracted to are going for younger dumb women. To her, this is disgusting. Those guys she has pegged to be “good enough” for her just seem to go for the young sluts or refuse to be tied down.
They don’t even give her a chance… and it’s not fair.
If she DOES manage to get a man’s attention long enough to get to know him… they only seem interested in quick sex. No relationship. No feelings. No nothing. A week of fun texting and a couple of dates… and the guy disappears.
This isn’t what she wanted in life.
She’s a good woman who played by the rules and did what society told her to do. She concentrated on her career, on her kids and on her family.
THE BIG LIE
Let’s look at another common group of modern day women: The childless.
I talked before about the apparent book of rules us men seem to be such fans of. There’s another book of rules that the modern day woman is playing by. It’s another form of what I call The Big Lie.
Some of us men experience our own version of The Big Lie. We’ve been told that being a sweet nice guy will EVENTUALLY get us the girl of our dreams. We just gotta hold out hope. Just ignore all those pretty girls going for the Lover types… you just focus on being Mr. Provider and all is well. The soft skills is where it’s at. Ignore the petty/shallow stuff.
We all now know it’s mostly bullshit.
For the young modern day woman, they are told “Yeah, sure you want to have babies in your twenties. We all have that urge. But, sweetie… seriously… don’t waste your precious 20’s on a family. Have fun and make some money. Live it up. Speaking of money, why should men take up all of the money-making career positions out there? You can be an executive if you want! You go out there and get your piece of the pie! Babies and family and all that can wait!”
Later in life they hear the clock ticking. Maybe they are in their mid-late 30’s or early 40’s. The career is fine…they’re having fun with their boyfriend or husband… but something is MISSING. That deep down natural urge to procreate is still there and it is SCREAMING at them right about now. Why? Because they know what’s always hovering over them like the grim reaper that it is:
AGE is telling them to hurry up and get these last batch of eggs fertilized. You ain’t getting any younger, sister! There’s only so many eggs to go around!
They used to be able to ignore AGE, but now that the “climbing the corporate ladder” noise of the professional world is fading away… AGE is louder than ever. It’s literally driving her nuts at times. Fuck it… let’s make a baby.
Then they try to conceive naturally. It ain’t happening. Months and months of negative pregnancy tests. Shit. Time to visit the doctor.
The doctor tells them that their chances of having a baby are WAY lower now then they were when they were in their early twenties. “If I could I would go back in time I would tell all you ladies in your twenties to freeze your eggs and embryos” they say. Well, that’s awesome to hear NOW, doc. Then the ladies get to hear a lesson on how having a baby past the age of 35 exponentially raises the chances of developmental problems in the baby. Oh, great.
It’s almost as if the medical community gets off on pointing at them and laughing. “HAHA!! You waited to have kids??!! HAHAHA!”
So their new reality is: Have career. Put off kids. Try to have kids. Can’t have kids. Spend thousands trying. Somehow get lucky and have kids? Here’s a laundry list of physical problems to worry about.
Now, combine all of the above with a lady who hasn’t yet found her GOOD man yet.
And you think you have it bad because that one really hot chick you like is hasn’t texted you back.
Try being a woman.