Dear DSO,I've been divorced for about two and half years. My wife left me after her second affair. Those are the only two affairs I know about, but there were probably more than that. We had no kids thank God. Our marriage lasted about four years. I...
I have just recently finished the book, "Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free" by Wednesday Martin. For a guy like me who has written on female sexuality (and how it...
Dear D.S.O., I've been following you on Facebook and have read all of your posts on the website. I think what you're doing is great and means a lot to guys like me. There's one thing I don't understand, and that's why you seem to be so hung-up on open...
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My own personal experience and that of thousands of other men who have been married and/or dated will tell you the same thing: If your woman is crazy about you, you will know it. She will leave zero doubt. She will shower you with praise. She will have her...
Many times, when a guy tells me about his wife’s affair partner, he will start rattling off reasons why the loser is the absolute opposite of what you would expect from a “typical” affair partner: 1. He has a horrible job. 2. Everyone thinks he’s a loser. 3. He lives...
As I outlined in "My Wife Wouldn't Do That" , there is a phenomenon of emasculated men that just CANNOT believe their wife would be capable of doing awful things like committing infidelity. Even when presented with ongoing warning signs and conclusive evidence, they...
Hi there, I’m the DSO (Dad Starting Over). My story is not an unusual one. For those who just stumbled upon this site by chance and have no connection to the subject matter… it may seem a bit “out there”. Trust me… it’s common. For the rest of us, you came here for a reason: You need to hit the restart button on life and redefine what it means to be a MAN in today’s world. You need a boost up over the wall and you’re scrambling for any little nugget of wisdom that will help you climb that extra inch.
Why a restart? Well, maybe life just kicked you in the teeth. If you’re like me and thousands of other grown men… you were told “I want a divorce”, or worse… you discovered infidelity. Your entire worldview has changed. Your head is spinning. What you thought was innocent and comfortable is now twisted and scary. Welcome to the real world, my friend. I’ve been there and done that.
My philosophies and advice are not cookie-cutter. They’re not politically correct. They’re not always nice. But.. they work. They make sense. They get results.
Want to know more about me? A great place to start is here:
MEN: ARE YOU IN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE?
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
THERE ARE A LOT OF MEN OUT THERE NOT HAPPY WITH THEIR SEX LIVES. What is going on? Is the tried-and-true stereotype of the undersexed husband and the cold, bossy wife inevitable? Are monogamous relationships doomed to such a pitiful state? Is that just the way marriage is?
I DON'T THINK SO.
To make a long story short, several years ago I was married for 15 years, discovered infidelity, quickly divorced and found myself newly single and sharing custody of three little kids. I then started a website at www.dadstartingover.com. After chatting with many men in my situation , I slowly started to notice patterns of behavior. Most men experienced long “Dead Bedroom” periods in their relationship prior to their divorce. Many of these men later discovered infidelity.I wrote about my thoughts on Dead Bedrooms on my website and it is by far the most popular topic to date. It has outranked all other topics combined. Then I started a podcast and recorded a few episodes. The Dead Bedrooms episode was the most downloaded.Simply put, nobody seems to know what to do to keep the fire going in their longterm relationship. Most of us experience a “honeymoon phase” of intimacy, and then watch it quickly fade as the stress of life and the boredom of familiarity settle in.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
I don’t claim to have all the answers for a happy married sex life. What I do know is that my own experience and the experience of hundreds of other men have helped to create a prescription for what I feel is the only true, honest, no bullshit way to get your wife jumping your bones again.I have finally put that prescription down on paper, and I call it The Dead Bedroom Fix.