Hello, I’m the Dad Starting Over.

I’m  a divorced father of three kids who had his life turned upside-down when his wife had an affair and filed for divorce.

Over the past several years I have reprogrammed myself to become an overall happier and more successful dude. I’ve helped dozens of men do the same. Please feel free to read through my site and learn more about my philosophies and advice about relationships and this game we call “being a man in this crazy world”.


Great read so far! The first few chapters have given me so much clarity on the crap I’ve been trying to get my head around. I keep going back and re-reading things! Many thanks – helping me get through things one horrible step at a time.


I went through the book, twice. Seriously, great job. I loved the links to other resources and the depth you went into on your sources and statistics to back them up. You have an excellent grasp on the male mind when its in pain. I felt your pain probably because I’ve felt your pain. The connection between author and reader is there from beginning to end. The only reason I ever set the book down was because life got in the way, otherwise, I would have read it cover to cover. You cover a broad spectrum of subjects and your advice/opinions line up with all the other books I’ve read out there on similar subjects (I read a lot). Honestly, it’s a great book. I wouldn’t classify it as an e-book simply because it’s in such a better format for the reader. If men pick up this book, it will be a game changer for them.


Great book!  It really helped me put some perspective on my current situation.  My wife of 20 years recently told me she wanted to separate.  It’s been 2 weeks and I’m still in shock in certain ways, but I’m not surprised.  All the signs were there.  I was trying to figure out where it went wrong, and your book completely nailed every behavior I was exhibiting.  Man, it was like you were watching our relationship as it was happening. 


I’m 54 years old and on my third marriage. Third time is the charm! That’s what I told myself. First two marriages ended in No Sex Land. I got angry and eventually divorced both of them. Both women couldn’t believe that I would divorce over something stupid like sex. I was told I just have a very high sex drive. I think I’m normal and shouldn’t have to pay for everything and not even be able to sleep with my own damn wife.

Third wife was the best sex I ever had in my entire life. She’s 20 years younger than me. No kids. Doesn’t want them. Has a great job. No stress. Everything is great. Then last year I started getting the excuses again. She just doesn’t feel like it. Weeks went by. I couldn’t believe I did it all over again. 

I found your book. Thank god. Everything makes sense now. Seriously I owe you a beer. I’m back to the way we were before and I couldn’t be happier. She’s way happier too. Thank you.



How to be a Better Wife

How to be a Better Wife

Once in a blue moon I get an email from a female reader. You may think most of it is complaining or expressing their anger towards me... and you'd be right. I have, in fact, been called an "incel" and a mysogynist (which is laughably off the mark), but I've also...

“Should I take her back?”

“Should I take her back?”

 (Here is a common scenario from my readers: Man and wife have a boring sexual relationship. They both work. Kids. Stress. Blah existence. Wife angry and tired most of the time. Husband frustrated. He doesn't feel validated and appreciated. Man discovers wife affair....

Dear DSO: “My wife cheated and my whole world has changed.”

Dear DSO: “My wife cheated and my whole world has changed.”

Dear DSO: Fourteen months ago I found out that my wife was cheating on me with a family friend. His dad was childhood friends with my dad. I've known him my whole life. We weren't super close, but we saw each other pretty often during holidays and family...


Seven Signs That Your Wife is Cheating

Seven Signs That Your Wife is Cheating

As I outlined in "My Wife Wouldn't Do That" , there is a phenomenon of bewildered and shocked men that just CANNOT believe their wife would be capable of doing awful things like committing infidelity. Even when presented with ongoing warning signs and conclusive...

Dissecting Dead Bedrooms

Dissecting Dead Bedrooms

We all know the tried-and-true stereotype of the typical modern day marriage: Man is horny and ready to go at any time. Even though his wife is older, heavier and not nearly as bubbly and sweet as she was in the honeymoon stage of their early relationship, he still...

Why Did She “Affair Down”?

Why Did She “Affair Down”?

Many times, when a guy tells me about his wife’s affair partner, he will start rattling off reasons why the loser is the absolute opposite of what you would expect from a “typical” affair partner: 1. He has a horrible job. 2. Everyone thinks he’s a loser. 3. He lives...

Dad Starting Over


Hi there, I’m the DSO (Dad Starting Over).  My story is not an unusual one. For those who just stumbled upon this site by chance and have no connection to the subject matter… it may seem a bit “out there”. Trust me… it’s common. For the rest of us, you came here for a reason: You need to hit the restart button on life and redefine what it means to be a MAN in today’s world. You need a boost up over the wall and you’re scrambling for any little nugget of wisdom that will help you climb that extra inch.

Why a restart? Well, maybe life just kicked you in the teeth. If you’re like me and thousands of other grown men… you were  told “I want a divorce”, or worse… you discovered infidelity. Your entire worldview has changed. Your head is spinning. What you thought was innocent and comfortable is now twisted and scary. Welcome to the real world, my friend. I’ve been there and done that.

My philosophies and advice are not cookie-cutter. They’re not politically correct. They’re not always nice. But.. they work. They make sense. They get results.

Want to know more about me? A great place to start is here:


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