Dear DSO: “Is Fitness Really That Important?”

Dear DSO:

Is it really necessary to look your best and get in great shape to turn women on? I ask because I know of somebody who has a lot of luck with women, and he’s in terrible shape. His personality is very outgoing and fun, but he’s a real mess physically. I think putting so much importance on fitness and looks is a bit misleading.
– R.

Any man who has luck with women will tell you the same thing: It’s all about getting into the woman’s head. It’s all about setting the tone. It’s all about putting her at ease. It’s about confidence. Swagger.

Abundance. Independence. Yes, you CAN achieve these things even if you’re a blobby mess of a guy… but I’m willing to be that the VAST majority of you guys out there reading this would NOT be able to achieve that mental level of attractiveness while being a fat slob. You will feel like shit. You will act like shit. You will think less of yourself. You will show to insecurity to the world. Somebody WILL come along at some point to remind you of your glaringly obvious faults. Men will not respect you. Your lack of discipline will be obvious to all.  Your physical state will permeate all aspects of your life.

I know of guys who barely worked a day in their life and yet still they are wealthy. They fell into some opportunity early on in life, invested money at the right time (think of the guy who purchased Apple stock back in the 80’s and held onto it for 30 years), or were born into wealth. Their fortune doesn’t negate the fact that for most of us out there… you’re going to have to put in some real time and effort to earn money. A lot of time and effort. That’s just the way it is.

What you’ve done is a pretty common thing. You pointed a statistical outlier, and then say that it serves to prove an entire trend wrong. This is like me saying that the average IQ is 100 and that higher IQ people tend to be more successful in life (a statistical fact)… but you come back and say that some celebrity rock star famously has a low IQ and he’s been super successful. Mr. Rock Star’s success doesn’t negate the fact that low IQ people, overall, tend to earn far less than high IQ people. Mr. Rock Star is what we call an anomaly. He may also be on drugs… and we all know that drugs don’t make you a winner.

The state of reaching a high level of physical fitness is just so completely life-transforming. You cannot overstate this. I can’t tell you how many guys I talk to lose 20 pounds and put on muscle… and they are totally new men. Their entire sense of self shifts dramatically, and their actions reflect this. Their results in life reflect the new him. It’s not just about sex, either… that’s just icing on the cake. It’s about being a complete man. That’s a state of being that, unfortunately, few of us realize in our lifetime.

“Yeah… but he’s fat and it works for him!” is the same as my 9-year-old pointing out that his friend gets to stare at an iPad all day… so he should be able to, as well. Well, son, your friend may seem fine now… but he’s going to grow up to be an idiot. I don’t want an idiot for a son. I want a man. Now get up off your butt, make your bed, take out the trash, and I’ll see you outside for some play time.

Dead Bedroom Fix
Now What?