Welcome to the Dad Starting Over Forum!
Here’s the place where guys like us can get together and let some steam out, chat, compare notes and leave knowing we’re a little bit wiser than we were before. Let’s help each other out and be the best men we can be.
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This forum is new to me, so there may be a glitch here and there. Be patient as I learn and get things set up properly. Thank you!
I think it's important to recognize that while the DSO has a lot of criticism of *some* women, like your ex, I think the author is mindful to not indict *all* women. I have to respect that.
I'm struggling with not falling into an MRA/Red Pill/Incel/MGTOW mental trap. Part of that is because I perceive that my STBXW took the worst parts of feminism and distorted it in order to essentially justify her toxic behavior.
But just because my STBXW is worthless, does not mean that all women share those traits. Just because she willfully misinterpreted what I consider the legitimate empowerment message of feminism, does not mean that feminism doesn't have a point. I consider myself a feminist. The difference is that feminism to me mean equal responsibility equal opportunities equal expectations, not "my life is so troublesome I'm in my rights to fuck dudes while my husband is at work".
How does "as a man it's your job to set boundaries/set the tone" from DSO overlap with Red Pill ideology? There's truth to both, which is why both are going concerns. At what point does it become toxic over-generalizing? Chiefly in DSO there is a very low sense of male entitlement, which is perhaps the difference.
I think you can take a little bit of each belief system and formulate your own ideals. It's not like life hands you a set of cards that you have to play. You can pick and choose.
The current concept of "feminism" is so far out in left field that anyone claiming to belong to the group gets a VERY wide berth from me. I think somebody saying "We should treat women equally and give them a fair shake" is a decent human. Don't need to apply a label to yourself and then take on all of the negatives associated with it.
Nobody likes to be generalized. Nobody likes to be told that, based on their gender, their behavior is pretty damn predictable. Due to the history of sexism and prejudice perpetrated against them, women REALLY don't like being told that they are predictable. They feel that we men are just patting them on the head saying "there there silly girls".
Doesn't make it any less true. Doesn't make it "red pill" or "toxic"... just makes it uncomfortably true. There are plenty of uncomfortable truths about both sexes. We just need to stop being such babies about it.