“She told me she wants some time apart to think about things. She won’t return my texts. My son is asking where his mom went to. I want to fight for our marriage. I can’t give up on us. This all started when she went back to school. I think she’s having some kind of crisis.”
Let her go. You can’t force love onto someone. There’s probably someone else you’re not aware of.
“After everything she did to me and to our family, she doesn’t suffer at all. She’s off partying every night and living with her new guy. I’m stuck with our kids and working 60 hours a week. It’s not fair.”
Let her go. She’s dead. Treat her that way. You mourn the relationship and move on. You don’t waste energy worrying about what SHOULD be. This is your new life. Work your way around obstacles. Make time for your kids. They need you.
“She slept with three guys that I know of. Probably more I don’t know about. I put a recorder in her car. I hacked her phone. All I see are messages to countless guys and her girlfriends. All she does it talk about how much she hates me and how much she can’t wait to divorce. I’ve been trying to get her into counseling and she won’t go. If she’s so miserable, why won’t she file for divorce?”
Let her go. File. Tomorrow. It’s over. Life is too short. Move on.
“She is miserable. Every day she complains. We fight every day, sometimes three times a day or more. When we fight, she says horrible things about wanting to divorce, wishing she never met me, how she wishes she didn’t have kids, how she should’ve stayed single… I don’t know what to do. She won’t go to counseling. One day everything is great, but when we fight she’s the worst person on Earth and makes me feel like garbage. I feel like I’m going crazy.”
Let her go. You will literally go crazy if you remain in this relationship.
“The other day when we fought, like we always do, my wife grabbed me by the hair, clawed my face and kicked me in the groin. She’s never done that before. I feel like I pushed her to that point. I keep bugging her about getting a job and she refuses.”
Let her go. Run away as fast as you can.
These are all very real scenarios. In each of them, the man is holding on for dear life. He doesn’t want to let go of the relationship. He wants it to work out SO bad, that he’s willing to overlook what the rest of us see as such obvious signs telling him to get out and run far away. He’s willing to waste precious time and life energy on someone that is so obviously over him. He is holding on tight to somebody who never existed: a faithful and loving wife.
Are you one of these guys? Why do you think that is? What is it about you, your past, and your future that scares you to the point of unhealthy attachment? Do you have childhood baggage that prevents you from seeing your potential? How do you see yourself within and outside of this relationship? Tough questions to answer truthfully… but it must be done.
One way or another, you must move on. For your own good and for the good of your children. It’s time to break the cycle of unhealthy attachment. Show your friends and family what a real strong man is made of.
Let her go.