The other day I was at the gym… doing what I usually do (wearing my mask, my big headphones, and staying away from other people) and I noticed… HER. New gal. It’s a small town and a small gym, so I know all of the regulars, and she had never been there before. She was young… maybe 19 or 20 years old. To call her “hot” would be an understatement. Her whole look was so over-the-top sexual… it was bordering on ridiculous. Picture it: Brunette… sports bra… and that’s it for a top… and very thin yoga pants that absolutely left ZERO to the imagination. They were painted on. She was curvy but extremely fit. The perfect combination of youth and hard work in the gym. After a brief glance, I quickly surmised that she may have had the best rear end I’ve ever seen on a human being. I enjoyed my split-second glance, said a silent “Wow” to myself… and moved on with my workout.
It’s a woman. Nothing I haven’t seen before. I have one at home, after all. She’s pretty awesome.
That’s when I noticed every other dude in the gym. They stared. They stared more. They elbowed each other to make sure their buddy noticed the hot girl. One made motions with the dumbbell like he was jerking off a penis. His friends laughed. One yelled across to his friend at the water fountain. “DUDE!” He turned and said, “What?!” His friend smiled and motioned over to the gym hottie. The friend loudly says, “Damn!” Smooth, boys. Real smooth.
Whether the gal noticed the commotion or not, I’m not sure. Given her appearance, this sort of reaction just may be normal background noise for her. As a dude, I can’t relate to her world. I would personally be more annoyed than flattered.
She waltzes over to another separate area of the gym. As soon as she turns a corner out of sight, one of the guys says something, and the entire room of guys busts out laughing. If it wasn’t obvious before, it was obvious now. Everyone was looking and talking about her. I couldn’t see her over in the other room, but I imagined her sighing and rolling her eyes at the obvious effect she had on a gym full of desperate men. To be honest, I felt bad for the woman. She was obviously proud of her body and wasn’t afraid of displaying the goods… but that doesn’t mean she has to endure the ogling and catcalls by a room full of guys who act like they’ve never seen a female before.
There’s nothing wrong with appreciating the female form… but these guys were crossing the line. They were acting “thirsty”. Thirsty is the term the young people use today to describe somebody who is desperate for another person… either for their attention, affection, or just wanting them sexually. It could be some guy who texts a girl 94 times in one day after they had lunch together once. It could be some guy who yells out, “God damn!” to an attractive woman as she walks by. The message conveyed is the same: “I can’t help myself. I’m like a guy crawling across the desert dying of thirst. As soon as I see a canteen of water, I lose my mind.”
In other words, they are some needy, pitiful, thirsty ass men.
There is nothing more of a turnoff to a woman or to society in general.
It’s similar to a woman finding out that her man has a bad porn habit. “Ew… it’s like he’s some degenerate addict who can’t help himself.” The guy is no longer a “man” but is now just a crazed horny teen boy who is governed by his balls. He’s desperate. He’s worked himself into a frenzy. Everyone on the planet, including the man himself, knows that he has zero chance of getting the hot girl in bed… but he does his over-the-top “I’m insanely horny and can’t help myself” routine anyway.
These are the guys at the bottom of the dude pyramid.
I often ask guys that I work one-on-one with: “What would James Bond do?” At most, he would glance, smirk, and go about his day doing James Bond shit. He wouldn’t stop, turn, yell out “Damn!” while elbowing the guy next to him. His class and sophistication would go right out the window.
Who do you think has a better chance of landing the hot gym girl? The well-dressed handsome guy who walks by, smiles, gives her a wink, and goes about his business… or the well-muscled gym rat who pretends to jerk off a dumbbell while elbowing his friend for approval? Yeah, exactly. The muscles aren’t enough to cover up his desperate and juvenile behavior.
For you married guys, these same rules apply to you. I know that many of you are enduring a dead bedroom and trying your damndest to bring that spark back to your marriage, but settling for pity sex for an obviously uninterested wife, whining about lack of attention, sitting your wife down for the dreaded “Talk” about your lack of sex… it all points to one thing: You are a thirsty man. You’re confirming your lower status to your wife. She wants a guy who could walk out the door at that moment, go to any random club, and pick up a younger, prettier version of her. She wants a high-value dude. A high-value man isn’t desperate and thirsty. He knows he could get a drink of water any time he damn well pleases.