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What Can Women Learn From Porn?
Written by: Dad Starting Over
I’ve been open about my opinion that habitual watching of pornography is a pretty bad thing for men. Why is it so bad? Because it is the nutrient-deficient fast-food version of the real thing. Instead of a meal made with real ingredients cooked carefully by your own hands, it’s a Big Mac, large fries, and milkshake handed to you immediately at the McDonald’s drive-thru. Instead of providing you with the calories and nutrients needed to sustain and repair your body, it’s a tasty quick meal that gives you explosive diarrhea 30 minutes later.
We all know this, yet people line up for porn and fast food all day every day. We all know it’s not the best for us, yet both industries rake in billions of dollars year and after year.
Why?
Both fast food and porn are engineered to skip right to the pleasure-seeking parts of our brain and give us A LOT of exactly what we want and give it to us quickly and efficiently. As human beings, we tend to love salty and fatty foods. We love sweet stuff, too. The fast-food industry looks at our desires and literally creates food items in a laboratory that check all of the boxes. Crunchy, salty, fatty… it’s all carefully crafted to set off signals in your brain that say, “This is awesome and I can’t wait to come back for more!”
Porn… is the exact same thing.
It’s one thing to say that “Porn is not great for you” and “Watching it too much leads to bad things for men”, but it doesn’t get at the WHY it’s so good in the moment. WHY do millions of men come back for more and more? As I often say, there is so much FREE porn out there, that I could attempt to watch new porn video clips every single day, and I will not run out of porn from now until the day I die. They just keep making new clips all day every day. It’s insane. What’s more insane is that even with a near-infinite amount of FREE porn, there are still millions of men dishing out millions of dollars to PAY for what they deem to be special porn that is a cut above the free stuff that is so readily available.
As with everything else in a capitalistic society, the population of potential customers exhibits a particular set of needs, and the market responds accordingly. It’s not like a bunch of guys got together in a conference room one day and decided to invent this thing called “porn”, took a gamble, and put it out on the market and they just got lucky. No, they saw a need and they filled it.
Let’s try and analyze the WHY and HOW porn is so damn successful. Exactly what need is it filling? Can women learn something from porn? Is porn an unfiltered look into what really makes a man tick?
Spontaneous Desire
Much like the healthy meal vs. fast food analogy, porn is a shortcut. It allows you to experience (albeit in an admittedly substandard way) the end goal of “naked woman doing sexual things for me” without having to go through all of the trouble of approaching the pretty girl, risking rejection (one of the most hurtful things any many can endure), getting to know her, paying for a date or two or three, being attractive, making her feel safe, etc. So… it’s WAY easier to get to the goal line with porn. But, let’s be honest, the “goal” you attain with porn doesn’t in any way shape or form compete with the real thing. But, for many men, the work needed to attain the real thing outweighs the reward. With porn… zero work.
So, there’s something to be learned there. What do men want? A man wants a woman who desires him so much that next to no work is needed to get her to take her clothes off and get busy. In other words, we want true spontaneous desire. It’s every man’s dream to walk into a room, see a hot chick, talk to her for a minute, and leave with her and have a raunchy night of fun. That is EXTREMELY validating and intoxicating to a man. He naturally has what it takes to quickly turn a woman into a ravenous sex-machine. Next to no work whatsoever on his part… yet she’s crazy about him and ready to go.
What can a woman learn from this? Just know that anything that veers from the path of true spontaneous, genuine, lustful desire is, in fact, a bit of a turn-off. To be madly in love with your wife only to hear “I just can’t get in the mood for that right now. The kids… work… I just need time to decompress. I’m tired. I’m stressed.” The old, sexier version of the wife would simply look across the room at the husband and be ready to go. The man is engineered to respond to this spontaneous desire in an extremely positive way. Many seemingly good men have dropped their frumpy wife for a young spunky thing at the office who validates the hell out of him. Do you know how those affairs start? “Your wife is so lucky to have a guy like you!” All he had to do was show up at the office, sip coffee, and go to pointless meetings… and the sexy office blond assures him that he is amazing and rewarded him with over-the-top flirting. Next to zero effort… mother nature rewards him. THAT is extremely appealing if not completely addictive to men.
Youthfulness
This is a tough one because the insinuation is that “Young gals are more attractive than older gals”. For the most part, yes, that is true. Sorry… we men just can’t help it. As I’ve mentioned before in other articles and podcasts, there are PLENTY of studies and internet data available that prove again and again that men just prefer younger gals over the older ones. Porn reflects this uncomfortable fact as well. A quick glance at Pornhub’s front page, and you can safely say that the average age of the “models” seems to be in their early twenties.
I actually “know” a porn star. I went to high school with her. I didn’t know about her career until I was in my early 30’s and an old high school friend clued me in. Of course, I had to go look her up, only to find a bunch of “MILF” and “Sexy step-mom” videos. Due to her ripe old age of 31, she was relegated to a special section of the site set aside for those men whose tastes differ from the majority. It would seem that her age put her in a category akin to a fetish. If you are looking for a 30-something-year-old to jerk off to, then you must have a mommy fetish.
This is not nice and it is certainly not fair to awesome older women out there. BUT… not all is lost. What can we LEARN from this, other than, “Men are pigs that like younger fertile women”? Youthfulness and femininity are not limited to the young. You can be energetic, playful, fun, cute… well into old age. You can continue to wear the cute dresses you used to wear. You can take care of yourself physically. Perfection, contrary to popular belief, is not the answer. Sure, men look at a hot twenty-year-old the same way we look at a pretty sunset. We admire the beauty and gawk a little too long… but we don’t mentally jump into “relationship” thoughts. That’s silly. That’s not realistic. What is realistic is seeing your 40-something wife wearing a cute outfit with a big smile on her face dancing around the kitchen to her favorite song. That’s insanely attractive. That’s youthful.
The opposite of that is a wife who repeatedly points out her shortcomings, complains about the kids, complains about work, complains about her husband, sits on the couch all day, taps away at her phone for hours on end, wears only sweatpants and hoodies, cuts her hair super short…. just a blah bag of negativity that just seems to inexplicably scream, “I know youthfulness is attractive to you. Here, let me do the exact opposite”. What does that tell the man? He’s not worthy of the effort. You can’t plead ignorance, either, ladies. The popularity of cosmetic surgery, photo filters, makeup, and lying about your age in online dating profiles… all go to prove that women are well aware of the importance of youthfulness. For some reason that tends to go out the window for many women when it comes to the man who matters the most: Their husband.
We all know this, yet people line up for porn and fast food all day every day. We all know it’s not the best for us, yet both industries rake in billions of dollars year and after year.
Why?
Both fast food and porn are engineered to skip right to the pleasure-seeking parts of our brain and give us A LOT of exactly what we want and give it to us quickly and efficiently. As human beings, we tend to love salty and fatty foods. We love sweet stuff, too. The fast-food industry looks at our desires and literally creates food items in a laboratory that check all of the boxes. Crunchy, salty, fatty… it’s all carefully crafted to set off signals in your brain that say, “This is awesome and I can’t wait to come back for more!”
Porn… is the exact same thing.
It’s one thing to say that “Porn is not great for you” and “Watching it too much leads to bad things for men”, but it doesn’t get at the WHY it’s so good in the moment. WHY do millions of men come back for more and more? As I often say, there is so much FREE porn out there, that I could attempt to watch new porn video clips every single day, and I will not run out of porn from now until the day I die. They just keep making new clips all day every day. It’s insane. What’s more insane is that even with a near-infinite amount of FREE porn, there are still millions of men dishing out millions of dollars to PAY for what they deem to be special porn that is a cut above the free stuff that is so readily available.
As with everything else in a capitalistic society, the population of potential customers exhibits a particular set of needs, and the market responds accordingly. It’s not like a bunch of guys got together in a conference room one day and decided to invent this thing called “porn”, took a gamble, and put it out on the market and they just got lucky. No, they saw a need and they filled it.
Let’s try and analyze the WHY and HOW porn is so damn successful. Exactly what need is it filling? Can women learn something from porn? Is porn an unfiltered look into what really makes a man tick?
Spontaneous Desire
Much like the healthy meal vs. fast food analogy, porn is a shortcut. It allows you to experience (albeit in an admittedly substandard way) the end goal of “naked woman doing sexual things for me” without having to go through all of the trouble of approaching the pretty girl, risking rejection (one of the most hurtful things any many can endure), getting to know her, paying for a date or two or three, being attractive, making her feel safe, etc. So… it’s WAY easier to get to the goal line with porn. But, let’s be honest, the “goal” you attain with porn doesn’t in any way shape or form compete with the real thing. But, for many men, the work needed to attain the real thing outweighs the reward. With porn… zero work.
So, there’s something to be learned there. What do men want? A man wants a woman who desires him so much that next to no work is needed to get her to take her clothes off and get busy. In other words, we want true spontaneous desire. It’s every man’s dream to walk into a room, see a hot chick, talk to her for a minute, and leave with her and have a raunchy night of fun. That is EXTREMELY validating and intoxicating to a man. He naturally has what it takes to quickly turn a woman into a ravenous sex-machine. Next to no work whatsoever on his part… yet she’s crazy about him and ready to go.
What can a woman learn from this? Just know that anything that veers from the path of true spontaneous, genuine, lustful desire is, in fact, a bit of a turn-off. To be madly in love with your wife only to hear “I just can’t get in the mood for that right now. The kids… work… I just need time to decompress. I’m tired. I’m stressed.” The old, sexier version of the wife would simply look across the room at the husband and be ready to go. The man is engineered to respond to this spontaneous desire in an extremely positive way. Many seemingly good men have dropped their frumpy wife for a young spunky thing at the office who validates the hell out of him. Do you know how those affairs start? “Your wife is so lucky to have a guy like you!” All he had to do was show up at the office, sip coffee, and go to pointless meetings… and the sexy office blond assures him that he is amazing and rewarded him with over-the-top flirting. Next to zero effort… mother nature rewards him. THAT is extremely appealing if not completely addictive to men.
Youthfulness
This is a tough one because the insinuation is that “Young gals are more attractive than older gals”. For the most part, yes, that is true. Sorry… we men just can’t help it. As I’ve mentioned before in other articles and podcasts, there are PLENTY of studies and internet data available that prove again and again that men just prefer younger gals over the older ones. Porn reflects this uncomfortable fact as well. A quick glance at Pornhub’s front page, and you can safely say that the average age of the “models” seems to be in their early twenties.
I actually “know” a porn star. I went to high school with her. I didn’t know about her career until I was in my early 30’s and an old high school friend clued me in. Of course, I had to go look her up, only to find a bunch of “MILF” and “Sexy step-mom” videos. Due to her ripe old age of 31, she was relegated to a special section of the site set aside for those men whose tastes differ from the majority. It would seem that her age put her in a category akin to a fetish. If you are looking for a 30-something-year-old to jerk off to, then you must have a mommy fetish.
This is not nice and it is certainly not fair to awesome older women out there. BUT… not all is lost. What can we LEARN from this, other than, “Men are pigs that like younger fertile women”? Youthfulness and femininity are not limited to the young. You can be energetic, playful, fun, cute… well into old age. You can continue to wear the cute dresses you used to wear. You can take care of yourself physically. Perfection, contrary to popular belief, is not the answer. Sure, men look at a hot twenty-year-old the same way we look at a pretty sunset. We admire the beauty and gawk a little too long… but we don’t mentally jump into “relationship” thoughts. That’s silly. That’s not realistic. What is realistic is seeing your 40-something wife wearing a cute outfit with a big smile on her face dancing around the kitchen to her favorite song. That’s insanely attractive. That’s youthful.
The opposite of that is a wife who repeatedly points out her shortcomings, complains about the kids, complains about work, complains about her husband, sits on the couch all day, taps away at her phone for hours on end, wears only sweatpants and hoodies, cuts her hair super short…. just a blah bag of negativity that just seems to inexplicably scream, “I know youthfulness is attractive to you. Here, let me do the exact opposite”. What does that tell the man? He’s not worthy of the effort. You can’t plead ignorance, either, ladies. The popularity of cosmetic surgery, photo filters, makeup, and lying about your age in online dating profiles… all go to prove that women are well aware of the importance of youthfulness. For some reason that tends to go out the window for many women when it comes to the man who matters the most: Their husband.
